On Love And Relationships: Give It Time And It Will Fall In Line

Happy Valentine’s Day, sweethearts! I know that the 14th has passed now, but why limit the celebration of love in shapes and forms to just one calendar day? Let’s make a week of it!

I actually didn’t get a chance to do anything special yesterday due to my feeling sick all day long, but I did manage to watch a couple movies related to love, including a re-watch of my favourite romantic-comedy, (500) Days of Summer, starring two of my favourite actors, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel.

(500) Days of Summer shines because it’s artistic, witty and off-beat. But above all, I really like this film because I find that I can really relate to the character of Summer Finn. Say what you will about her being a cynical, aloof and cruel witch for breaking JGL’s (er, Tom’s) heart and leading him on, but I beg to differ. She was honest with him about her skeptical views on relationships from the get-go, so it was inevitable that their perspectives were bound to continue clashing, with Tom being a hopelessly-romantic idealist and Summer being a free-spirited realist. I particularly agreed with what she had to say about the nature of relationships:

“I like being on my own. I think relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and, save the serious stuff for later.

One might find such a statement to be cop-out and a blatant sign of one’s insecurities and commitment issues, but I think it’s pretty bold to declare that you would prefer to be independent within a society that bombards you with persuasive messages of the importance of finding “that special someone” to complete your life. I find myself being comfortably content with being 22 and still single. I have friends I love, a mother I adore and an academic program which I truly enjoy. Despite the hardships I sometimes face in my day-to-day life, I’m happy with where I am. I don’t have any desire to search for some man who I can submit to and slap the “boyfriend” label on.

Even though I strongly question the conventional nature of relationships, I still consider myself to be idealistic on the possibility of romance. Like Tom, I believe in the idea of love, having grown up on fairy tales and Disney films which perpetuate the ideals of true love and happily ever afters, but I just don’t see the immediacy of discovering it NOW. In that sense, I do believe in fate and destiny. When it’s meant to be, romance will blossom between me and the guy who I consider to be a suitable match (my kind of perfect). Until then, I remain stubborn in staying rooted in reality and not letting society’s pressures and expectations distract me from my end goal. I will continue living my life as an ambitious single girl with hopes and dreams of fulfilling my own happiness.

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