Lady Writes the Hues

Lady Writes the Hues is a colourful collection of mindful musings on the emotional spectrum we live with, created by Elizabeth Rosalyn.

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If there is no struggle, there is no story. You need conflict, challenge, and change for a compelling tale. I like to think that all of the hard knocks I’ve faced and endured have made me become the raw, honest, and empathetic storyteller I am today. How I aim to use my voice is to foster a strong sense of human connection and a universal community amongst us all. What I hope to accomplish through my writing is to make us feel not alone in our struggles, to invite us to share in our emotions and experiences together, and to provide reassurance that whatever we are dealing with can be overcome. . . . . . #elizabethrosalyn#mindfulmusings#amwriting#instawrite#ladywritesthehues#thatsdarling#darlingmovement#darlingweekend#livecolorfully#acolorstory#myunicornlife#pursuepretty#flashesofdelight#chasinglight#thehappynow#petitejoys#mybeautifulmess

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What’s in a Name, Anyway? I gave it to myself, It was given to me by me. – Christine #LadyBird McPherson My last name and I have a rather complicated relationship. It's odd enough to inspire curiosity, amusement, and laughter from most people, and total disregard from others (yes, I'm talking to you, Facebook. My last name is in fact legal and real). The last name I have makes me someone who stands out, to say the least. Playful teasing and unsearchable Google results aside, I've always resented my last name. Not because it's so uncommon, but because my surname ties me to a family tree and history I am not proud of being part of nor wish to carry on for the rest of my life. When I was younger, I used to fantasize about changing my last name once I got married. These days, I choose to go by given first and middle names (a gift from my mother) as my chosen name for my personal branding and my published work. Now when I think of the future, I fantasize about making it official by dropping my last name legally and completely off the record. Our names are important parts of our personal identity. Last names in particular as symbolic of association and belonging. It signifies our inclusion and importance within a collective, a team, a family. It's why we emblazon our last names on sports jerseys — it’s a sign of affiliation that says, "You are one of us – you are with us". Your name is something you carry with you everywhere you go. It represents you. It's your badge of honour. But when I really think about it, a name is also an opportunity to take agency over your identity and over your destiny. If I am to truly be the master of my own fate, then I want to claim the right to make my own choices in regards to how I wish to be identified and known in this life. Call me Elizabeth Rosalyn. . . . . . #elizabethrosalyn #amwriting #instawrite #mindfulmusings #ladywritesthehues

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Call You By Your Name How often do you say a person’s name when you’re in conversation together? There’s something so powerful about hearing someone address you by your name. It ignites feelings of being seen, being known, and being recognized for who you are. It is a powerful way of building a connection with another person. The absence of being spoken to by name can make us feel as if we’re being spoken to at a distance, like we’re not being acknowledged. I now realize this is a negligent habit (non-habit?) that I need to work on in my interactions with others. Call me by my name and I will call you by yours. Speaking of, I still can’t get #CallMeByYourName out of my head. The movie so nice, I had to see it twice. Makes me feel so nostalgic for the Italian countryside… . . . . . . #elizabethrosalyn #amwriting #instawrite #ladolcevita2017 #girlonfirenze #firenze #florence #italia #italy #mindfulmusings #ladywritesthehues

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Do Ask, Do Tell. I want to be the one you are most curious about. The one you want to know everything about, inside and out. Ask me about my past, my present, and my future. Ask me about what I love, what I wish for, what I’m afraid of. I want to be the one you confide in the most. The one you want to tell everything to, openly and unfiltered. Tell me about your hopes and your dreams. Tell me about your joy and your fears. I want an undeniable connection of mutual infinite fascination. If you’ll be that for me, I’ll be that for you. . . . . . #elizabethrosalyn #amwriting #instawrite #instapoetry #poetry #bonjourparis2016 #paris #france #seineriver #travel #traveltuesday #mindfulmusings #ladywritesthehues

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Your First Choice My biggest insecurity is feeling unwanted. It’s like that awful and traumatizing experience of being picked last in gym class, but manifesting itself throughout all of your interactions with others. There’s a voice in my head that nags at me constantly, telling me that because I am so dull, forgettable, and insignificant, people don’t really want me around. That I am a spare, an alternate option, a backup plan, a last resort on everyone’s friend list. And when I start to suspect that I don’t really belong somewhere, I get consumed with feelings of worthlessness and I isolate and close myself off from everyone. All I want is to be someone’s first choice. (That’s right, I’m back and at it with writing again! Turns out all it took was a glass of wine for me to unravel my whirlwind of a mind and put those thoughts into words. Shall I make #wineandwrite a weekly thing) 🍷📝 . . . . . #elizabethrosalyn #amwriting #instawrite #mindfulmusings #ladywritesthehues

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Appreciating the Here and Now I’ve always been hyperaware of the unforeseeable nature of our mortality. From being introduced to the tragedy of young death at a very early age and having these premature losses present throughout my life, these gutting goodbyes have made me realize how precious life is and how important it is to make the most of our time on this earth. It's because of my heightened state of awareness of the transience of life that I live with this approach of wanting to be everywhere and to do everything. In a way, such a mentality has been beneficial in making me feel at ease with getting outside of my comfort zone in trying new things (like solo travel and extreme adventure activities) and not taking the opportunities in front of me for granted. But there are downfalls as well. I live in perpetual worry if I'm doing what I should be doing and doing what I want to do. This 'I want it all and I want it now' way of thinking has made me raise my expectations too high so that I'm left feeling like a failure when things are left unfulfilled. More and more, with much thanks to technological advancements making our expectations increasingly instanteneous, we're seeing the pace of the way we live our lives speed up faster and faster, leaving us in a rush to do it all and have it all, and for all that to happen right now. But if we're living so forwardly like this, what time do we have left to appreciate the day we're living in? I'm trying to redefine how I perceive my sense of personal fulfillment by reminding myself of the importance of slowing down, of living in the moment, of appreciating what I have, of being patient, and of having faith that my hopes and my dreams will work themselves out within the time that I have, however short or long that may end up being. . . . . . #elizabethrosalyn #wineandwrite #amwriting #instawrite #bonjourparis2016 #paris #france #eiffeltower #mindfulmusings #ladywritesthehues

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Whenever you reflect back on a memory that was once pivotal or special to you and has now been overridden with feelings of sorrow, longing, regret, or bitterness…. Remember. Cherish the value of that moment as it was in that moment in time. And take hold of the experiences you gained and lessons you learned as you anticipate the life-changing moments that will come next. We can’t go back to rewrite history, but we have the agency to reframe each of our memories – good, bad, and somewhere in-between – as integral plot twists and catalysts in our story. . . . . . #elizabethrosalyn #amwriting #instawrite #jerichobeach #vancouver #earthday #mindfulmusings #ladywritesthehues

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A Letter for the Disposable Ones This is for anyone who has ever felt insignificant, unwanted & expendable through their relationships with people. We are in a time ripe with flaky & noncommittal friendships & relationships. You devote time & energy towards the new people in your lives & it’s frustrating & exhausting when that is not reciprocated. You let your guard down, let them in & let yourself trust them. What they give back to you in return are mixed signals, delayed responses, cancelled plans & a constant state of dazed confusion. Soon enough, they give up on this almost friendship or relationship you had. From here, you start to question your own worth, because if people can’t seem to appreciate you for you, you must be the problem — you must be the one so undeserving of the love & attention you think you deserve. But it’s not on you, it’s on them. It’s not that what you give to people isn’t good enough, it’s that they are not in a place yet where they can appreciate the good that they have within their grasp. Instead, they callously take others for granted through their lack of consideration. You could have been the best thing for them, but now they may never know that because they didn’t dare to give it a chance. As hurt & disappointed as you are, you can’t help but still care & hope that someday, things will be different & you can start over again. But in the meantime, you shouldn’t hold your breath wishing, hoping, praying & waiting around for people to get their shit together & change for the better. Right here & right now… You deserve more than being led on, strung along & bailed on. You deserve someone who values your time & will make space for you. You deserve someone who will put in effort & care into your relationship. You deserve someone who will converse with you with clarity & truth. You deserve someone who will build an emotional connection with you. You deserve someone who will fight to be with you. You deserve someone who is grateful for having you in their life. Do not settle for less than what you deserve. You are worthy of being treated like someone of indispensable worth. #elizabethrosalyn #ladywritesthehues

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The secret to great opportunities is the person you haven't met yet. We are creatures of habit. It's much more comfortable to stay close to home and to be around people who are similar to us. But in resting on our social laurels of familarity, what are we potentially missing out on? In a @TED talk I watched recently, organizational psychologist Tanya Menon discussed how we can break out of our narrow social circles with similar people and be more intentional about travelling through and expanding our social universes – leading to new connections, experiences, and ideas. Menon suggests using an imperfect social search engine. If you map out your habitual daily footpath, you'll find you make fundamentally predictable choices on a daily basis – going to the same places (coffee shops, bathrooms, etc.) and thus seeing the same people day after day. With this in mind, consider how you are currently finding and filtering the people you interact with and the friends you make. Make your network more unpredictable by going somewhere new (like that dog park you’ve been dying to check out) and encountering a whole new network of people in a whole new social hub. Fight your habits of filtering out people who you wouldn't normally approach – maybe you are intimidated by them, or maybe you deem them as too different from you to connect with – and connect with those people. I’m a believer in the notion of opening yourself up to more random luck and accidental bumps when you’re out there living, and embracing these regular injections of unpredictable diversity. Someday very soon, you will meet new people who will teach you something new and profound, or maybe even change your life. #elizabethrosalyn #ladywritesthehues #mindfulmusings #ted #tedtalks

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Do you make time for the people that matter to you? Do you tell the people you love that you love them? I've been thinking long & hard about the challenges of maintaining our connections with the company we keep. As much as we want to spend lots of quality time with our friends, we can get so caught up in our hectic lives and go months, years even, from hanging out with or speaking to each other. We easily laugh it up to being the reality of "adult friendships", but in allowing our busy and clashing schedules to create barriers and distance between us, are we excusing ourselves from putting any effort into sustaining our relationships & letting this be the norm? We never intend to make our friends feel unimportant, but with every indefinitely postponed coffee catchup and unanswered text message, we do. I've been on both the receiving & the giving end of this & I think we can do better. Instead of blaming ourselves and blaming each other, there are a few things we can consider when it comes to our friendships. Think about the last time a friend reached out to you expressing their interest in spending time together. Did you welcome the idea to connect with enthusiasm and make concrete plans with them? Or did you allow yourself to get too overwhelmed by your packed calendar & leave them hanging with the ball in their court? Think about the last time a friend opened up to you. How did you react to their vulnerability? Did you give your full and undivided attention & actively listen as they poured their heart and soul out & tell them how amazing they are? Or did you talk over them with your own story or get sidetracked with scrolling through your Instagram feed? If you’re guilty of neglecting to consider how unawareness & inaction may have contributed to fading friendships, you can strive to be more proactive & present for your friends. Life gets messy & tough & isolating. We all need reminders that we matter & that we are loved. Your time and your words are the most meaningful gifts you can give to the ones that mean the world to you. Handle them with intention and care.

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I always feel this pressure to do something extraordinary every day, for every moment not spent doing something remarkable is time wasted. But it’s okay to take your time To slow down To stand still To press pause To keep calm To let yourself breathe To just be You are anything but ordinary, but don’t underestimate the impact of having moments to yourself. As much as new experiences and an active lifestyle are important to happiness and fulfillment in your life, your well-being also requires those balanced moments of self care in mind, body, and soul to enrich your sense of personal growth, inner peace, and contentment. (📷: Rodion Kutsaev) #elizabethrosalyn #ladywritesthehues #amwriting #instawrite #instapoetry #instapoem #selfcare #latenightthoughts

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It's a fan’s dream to be serenaded by their favourite singer. When it actually happens? It's magic. In 2009, Michael Johns turned that fantasy into a reality when he granted the wish of 20-year old me. I had written him a letter on MySpace (remember those days?) with a request to sing his rendition of my favourite song, "Across the Universe" at his show with @realbrookewhite in Seattle. His performance of that Beatles classic on @americanidol is what made me a fan of his, so to hear him play that live would be one meaningful, full circle moment. Flash forward to the night of the concert… Not only did he acknowledge reading my letter on stage, he actually proceeded to fulfill my song request, dedicating a very special acoustic performance to the starry-eyed and speechless girl in the front row. To say my life was made in that instant would be an understatement. I watched this video with a broken heart on the day that he died four years ago, but I couldn't make it to the end. I haven't revisited it since – until today. Now, I see how this moment exemplifies exactly who @michaeljohnsmusic was as a musician and as a human being – talented, hilarious, charming, thoughtful, giving, loving, and a beautiful soul. In following his dreams and helping others’ dreams come true as well, he made people like me believe that anything can happen if you just try. He may be somewhere across the universe right now, but the memories he's given to me and to everyone whose lives he touched during his lifetime are limitless and undying. #MichaelJohns #RememberingMichaelJohns #ElizabethRosalyn #LadyWritesTheHues

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Cultural Pride & Prejudice As a Woman of Colour of Canadian nationality, Asian race, and Indonesian ethnicity, I grapple with the identity struggle of being “not Canadian enough” and “not Asian enough”. When my Mom left Jakarta, she intended to start a new life with her family in Canada. I understand and respect her choice to cut ties with her old country. For this reason, I didn’t feel like I was missing out. Growing up, I focused on the values she instilled in me here in Vancouver, her chosen home. This difference in my upbringing has been a point of confusion, even contention, with others. There are things I identify with when it comes to Asian culture (no shoes in my house, you savages!) and more things I don’t. People are stunned when I say I've never been to Asia. People are flabbergasted that I don’t speak my parents' native language. People laugh at me for my weird way of holding chopsticks. Instead of recognizing that every individual has varying degrees of their curiosity and connection to their cultural heritage, I get shame from adults for not following tradition, I get to be a laughingstock to other Asians, and I get to be a disappointment to people of other races when I fail to live up to their ideals. I used to join in on the joke about how I was the “Worst Asian Ever!” but now, I see how fundamentally screwed up that is, and how letting people’s opinions of where I belong on the “barometer of Asianness” led me to believe that I was a fraud to my own race. But here’s the thing: I an not white-washed, nor a banana, nor a victim of the “melting pot” of Westernization. My racial background is an important piece of my personal story, but it is not the defining part. I appreciate where my parents came from, but my roots are planted in different soil and that’s where I grew from. That said, I may not act like one to you, but I AM ASIAN. Everyone has a different story. People should be able to live out their multiculturalism in their own ways and not be judged for how they’re meeting the expectations of how people of certain races should be. This is me: Canadian & Proud, Asian & Proud, and proud of everything I am. #ladywritesthehues

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Rejection is something in my past that’s changed who I am today. Getting rejected can make you feel overwhelmingly & unbearably inadequate, outcast & alone. As someone who has always felt like an outsider looking in, each “This isn’t a fit,” “We’re letting you go,” “You’re great, but…” & every other variation of a resounding “no” I’ve ever heard, never ceases to fuck with my unstable sense of self-worth — of seeing myself as someone worthy of belonging, respect & love. You have to fight to not let rejection compel you to raise your guard up, harden your heart, turn away from everything & everyone & give up. You have to continue to put yourself out there & make yourself vulnerable to even more opportunities of impending rejection, because that’s the only way to move forward. Through rejection, you learn more about yourself, people & the world. Some of the lessons I’ve learned include: – If your family doesn’t choose you, choose your own family. – Any man who doesn’t respect your time and effort isn’t worth your time and effort. – You are more than your job title — define yourself by who you are over what you do. – You will reap what you sow, albeit sometimes later rather than sooner. In the process, you become sharper & stronger than who you were yesterday. You become a survivor. Rejection is something that is part of my past, my present & my future. I recognize the resiliency I will build by confronting it & the progress I will make in my personal growth by navigating through it. I hope to pass those gains on through the things I do to remind others that they are not alone in rejection. I'm proud to be a part of the #MyCardboard movement by @employtoempower. We are all connected through our battles and our vulnerabilities unite us. I pledge my followers to join the movement: 1) Write something that's changed who you are on cardboard with a sharpie 2) Take a photo with the cardboard 3) Post the photo on your Instagram feed & hashtag #MyCardboard to be a part of the mosaic. To contribute to connecting people in the DTES to meaningful work, please donate at bit.ly/dtesfund Let's ignite a movement together! ✌️ #ladywritesthehues #elizabethrosalyn

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Tonight, I was honoured to attend @megaphonemag’s Voices of the Street launch event and listen to readings from a few of the publication’s talented group of writers and poets. One of the bravest things a person can do is to share art that comes from the heart, and these storytellers did just that as they expressed their memories and realities with their captivated audience. It was honest. It was heartfelt. It was thought-provoking. It was a celebration of the power of words. I admire what the Megaphone community does to help amplify the voices of the Downtown Eastside, to provide an avenue for their work to be shared, to create a strong and supportive community, and to break down the barriers that prevent us from fully understanding each other. Through prose, poetry, and other forms of writing, we can begin to see how, no matter how different our circumstances may be, we are all alike in that we experience ups and downs along the trials, tribulations, and emotional spectrum of our lives. The more opportunities we have to bridge the divide between people, the better. To be seen and to be heard is what every person deserves. Thank you Megaphone for an inspiring night and for all that you do – I look forward to continuing to support your magazine and your community. ❤️ #VOTS2018 #megaphonemagazine #changethatworks #dtes #vancouver #yvr #elizabethrosalyn #ladywritesthehues #mindfulmusings

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I always attain at least one key takeaway from every @ywibvancouver event I attend. The #ywiblove community allows for a very comfortable, open, and honest forum through which people can share their insights on careers and life, which I deeply appreciate and draw much inspiration from. At #YWiB's Blueprint mentorship program wrap-up celebration, each participant got to share a piece of wisdom with the group. Each response was different from the next and everyone's perspectives and experiences were wholly embraced and respected. No matter where you are currently in your career and life journey, I'm sure you can identify with and gain from one of the many valuable nuggets offered from this thoughtful bunch: Strive for balance and seek nurturing relationships. Ask for more with a thoughtful approach. Attitude + Gratitude = Altitude The heart knows what the mind wants to know. Get in tune with your heart and listen to the whispers, because the truth is within you. Don’t let the fear of failure stop you from starting. You’re not supposed to know it all in the beginning. A goal without a plan is just a wish. Break your goals down into achievable steps. Choose the path that will make you happy. Don’t let yourself get fixated on success as the end goal. Put yourself out there and be open to new opportunities. Relationships are the foundation to leadership and change. You don’t have to go through the same path as someone else, nor should you. Changes and challenges are inevitable. Learn to work with it by acknowledging your limits and boundaries. Put yourself first. Be honest and smart with your time. Have confidence in your decision-making. You don’t always have to solicit ideas and gain approval from others. Follow your gut and be assertive. We overestimate what we can achieve in a day, and we underestimate what we can achieve in a lifetime. We tend to think that everyone else has more experience than us and allow that to hold us back from doing things. The truth is, nobody knows what they are doing. We’re all just winging it. So just do it and own your confidence!

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Father's Day is a difficult day for me. When you have a complicated and/or challenging relationship with your father, being surrounded by heartfelt messages from people praising their pops with the utmost pride and love can be a trigger. For me, the third Sunday of June brings up memories of the abuse and neglect I endured while growing up with a bad dad who was careless about his role and responsibility as a parent. I am reminded of how much it hurts to have someone who was a part of bringing you into this world treat you like you have no place in it. Oftentimes, I'll find myself feeling sad that I never did and never will have that good father-daughter experience. While I am so grateful to have the unconditional love of my mom, I'd be lying if I said I never wondered what it was like to be Daddy's Little Girl. If you too are dealing with hard and mixed emotions this Father’s Day weekend, here’s my take on what we have to gain from our rough experiences. Not having the love and care of a parent has taught me is that choosing to live with love and give your love are two of the most important choices you'll ever make. And that said, the sad truth of the matter is, some will be unwilling to or incapable of providing you with the love you so deserve. That is just something they will have to deal with losing out on for the rest of their lives – and what a pity, really. As for you, you can choose to live with even more love and to give even more love, despite all that you have had to overcome. It will not be easy, but we mustn’t lose hope, give up, and shut down whenever the feelings of pain, abandonment, and emptiness emerge again. If we’ve learned anything as survivors, it’s that we can and will push through. Live, give, and love. Those are the bravest and boldest moves of redemption you can make. #elizabethrosalyn#ladywritesthehues#mindfulmusings#amwriting#instawrite#fathersday

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It’s #BellLetsTalk Day, so let’s talk meditation. Meditation is the practice of mindfulness to reach a mental state of calm and relaxation, done through a particular method in which the individual will focus their mind and train their awareness for a period of time. When we think of meditating, the picture that immediately comes to mind is a person sitting cross-legged on the floor, with their eyes closed and their body at ease, transcending into a silent state of zen. Sounds simple enough, but for me, it wasn’t. In fact, I am a failure at meditation. (Failing at meditation? How does one do that?) But there I was, sitting with a group of people in a guided meditation class, and I just couldn’t shut my damn mind up and stop it from drifting. For someone who considers herself to be acutely introspective and in tune with her inner self, how could I not be able to do this one simple thing and FOCUS? Initially, I had concluded that it wasn’t for me. But I was so focused on my challenges with this particular technique that it didn’t cross my mind to think about and approach meditation differently. If the root of meditation is a mental exercise involving focus and awareness to achieve relaxation, then we should consider what activities will bring us to that state of being fully present in the moment and totally focused on our inner selves. For me, I immediately think of sitting in a coffee shop, sipping on a hot cup of tea, and observing the passersby within the vicinity. For others, solitary activities like working on a colouring book or doing yoga stretches, or even admiring the jellyfish at the aquarium or walking down a busy street full of people, people-watching, can quiet the noise in their heads and bring them that sense of stillness. This definition of meditation is an act of mindfulness in which the individual finds a moment to focus on cultivating peace and calm within. So, the next time you are feeling overburdened with stress or anxiety, consider taking the time to care for yourself and your mental health using techniques that will lead you to your zen. In what ways do you meditate and practice mindfulness? #elizabethrosalyn #ladywritesthehues

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You know when you have that “Holy crap! I’m really here!” moment when you’re exploring a new place in your travels and you see something that makes you go “wow…”? In Paris, that was the Notre Dame Cathedral. During my first full day in the City of Lights, I woke up at the crack of dawn to visit the heart of Paris on the Ile de la Cite. Getting to explore the gothic monument in pure peace and quiet and hike up its iconic bell tower for those sweeping views of Paris was an experience that will be forever etched in my memories. The #NotreDameCathedral is a symbol of faith, art, history, and culture. A timeless beacon of pride, hope, and love, the Lady of Paris carries with it the spirit of #France to the people of #Paris and to admirers from around the world. Which is why hearts shattered all across the globe when the famed #NotreDame went up in flames today. After standing the test of time and surviving through revolutions, wars, and monumental changes throughout 850 years of French history, seeing the building nearly taken all the way down by a fire (in real-time) was a devastating blow. The history lost today will never be recovered, but Paris will repair and rebuild what was damaged and destroyed, and the people grieving right now will rise up again tomorrow. I think one of the meanings we can take away from today’s events is to remember that the things we see around us, particularly the things we build, are impermanent. Which is why we should go experience what we want to experience in the world while we can, without hesitation. And if you’re lucky enough to have it within your means to go explore, document it. Give back and share what you’ve discovered by writing about it, talking about it, taking pictures, donating to preservation projects, whatever your gift or purpose is, do it. Pay it forward. That will help those who are facing barriers from travelling connect with these experiences too. Keep spreading and supporting the wonders of art, of our creations, and of nature. If you take only one thing away from this tl;dr post, please let it be this: GIVE BACK AND SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES. Je t’aime, Paris. ❤️ #bonjourparis2016 #ladywritesthehues

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Is it the algorithms, or do I just suck? Social media does a lot of good in helping us make and strengthen our connections. But for all of its positive benefits, our online activities have also altered us in detrimental ways. We joke about ‘doing it for the ‘gram!’ but there is constant pressure placed on us to be visible on social media. I have to do something cool, go to that party, and travel to that place, or else no one will see me and I will fade into obscurity. Just when you thought high school was over, nope, the popularity contest still reigns over us, and once again, if you can’t conquer it, you’re just the invisible loser-loner that’s nothing special. When it comes to sharing our lives online, we’re constantly thinking about what will be good content for a post, and what will get us more likes and comments from our followers, as if the amount of engagement we receive is a reflection of our worthiness. Because in this never-ending competition, I have to win against a system that judges my relevance and ranks my worth based on how I ‘perform’ online. For my value to be reduced down to a cog in an data-driven machine – it affects my self-esteem, my self-worth, how I think about my relationships with others, and how I think others value me. Algorithms force me to operate in a state of competition, to compare my experiences with everyone else’s exciting adventures, and ultimately, to make me feel more hidden and alone than I already feel. Like it or not, this is how our online world runs. I’m not sure of how we can beat through this system that’s been designed to make us hungry for constant approval, but in the meantime, I’m going to work on focusing less on metrics and more on making a bigger effort to share content from the heart and engage in genuine conversations and connection with all of you as a possible solution. Will you join me? #ladywritesthehues

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I've been running on the fast track to anywhere for the last five years, wanting to get the most out of life’s experiences. After five years, I've been starting to merge into the slow lane. I’m sensing some signs of stagnation in areas of my life, which causes me to feel restless and bored. I find myself taking disappointments and failures harder than usual. And frankly, it's a struggle to stay optimistic that the best is yet to come for me. I fear that if I continue any longer at this slower pace, I'll end up further behind, dismissed, and forgotten. Deep down, I know that this is just temporary, a pit stop, that I need to have faith and patience, and that I should try slowing down and relaxing a little bit, but it’s a challenge for someone like me who can’t stop and won’t stop to press pause. Life, whatever you have in store for me, please hurry the hell up. #ladywritesthehues#fridayfeels#grandcentralterminal#grandcentralstation#newyorkcity#newyork#nyc#iloveny#ilovenyc#nyclife#newyorknewyork#newyorker#newyork_ig#manhattan#bigapple#liznyc#liz❤️nyc

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A sweet friend imparted some soothing words of wisdom to me when I was feeling low last week: When you can't see a way to make tomorrow more like what you want, you can at least make today nice. A hopeful outlook like this is a good one to try out when you’re struggling to regain your visibility within the fog. When you feel dejected, anxious, or stuck, take a breather to look within and look around, and do things that you love. For me, that includes things like going on photo walks in the city and in nature, trying out a new tea, and listening to music with motivational lyrics. Whatever these activities look like for you, make it a habit to engage in daily acts of self-kindness, however big or small. ❤️ #motivationmonday #ladywritesthehues . . . . . #vancouver#vancouverbc#vancity#yvr#vancitylife#vancouverlife#citylife#explorevancouver#veryvancouver

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Evolution is the Revolution This may fall on deaf ears, but for those on the wrong side of human history, and yes, even those observing on the sidelines, right now, ask yourself: How much more would we able to progress as a society if we dared to let go of our egos and our stubborn determination to win an argument, and instead, became interested in listening, really listening, to the thoughts and experiences of others without judgment? What if we opened ourselves up to challenging our long-held and uncontested beliefs, and maybe even evolving our views? What if we saw this not as a sign of weakness, but as a sign of one’s strength of character? What if instead of fighting to always be right, we fought for the rights of others by calling out injustices and abuses of power in an effort to denormalize the behaviours and attitudes that threaten to set humanity backwards? Especially for those who come from a place of privilege in society, listen, REALLY LISTEN, to those who come from different backgrounds, upbringings, cultures, and lived experiences as you. And use your position of privilege to fight for their right to have a voice and to be heard. When lives are at stake, it’s not the time for apathy. It’s the time for action. #ladywritesthehues #fridayfeels

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I had an imaginary friend named Leslie. We shared the same birthday and the same love for reading, Sailor Moon, and our stuffed animal collections. But for all that we had in common, we were also very different from each other. Leslie had a cool older sister, went to Disney World every summer with her family, was the star of her soccer team, played the piano, was a Math whiz, was super friendly and popular at school, and y'know, all the things I wished I had or I wished I was. But above all, she was the keeper of my secrets, my closest and most trusted confidante. As I grew up, I made new friends, and naturally, we grew apart. And while Leslie may have been a figment of my hyperactive imagination onto which I projected my wishes and hopes onto, her presence meant more to that to me. Leslie gave me the space to dream and to create, compelling me to always look for the interesting, complex, and fascinating characters that would live in the experiences I sought and live on in the stories I write. Leslie kept me company and encouraged me to find comfort in my own company and confidence with being independent, to create my own happiness, to embark on new adventures, to go after my goals in life, and to always aim higher. Through Leslie’s encouragement, I learned to love myself. Even after our imaginary friends have left, we should never let go of the opportunity to play pretend, to imagine, wonder, envision, invent, create, and dream. When you are your own best friend, anything becomes possible. Wherever you are out there, Leslie, thank you for being my friend. #ladywritesthehues: #tbt edition

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Commitment is a word that strikes terror into the hearts and minds of many. Making the choice to devote yourself to someone, something, somewhere long-term is a daunting concept that can be preceded by feelings of doubt, fear, and insecurity – what if I made the wrong choice? What if I can’t fulfill what I have committed to? What if I’m not good enough? But isn’t it the most bold, breathtaking, and beautiful thing to see people make a commitment to what they care about? Getting married to the one they love, fulfilling their passion through a new project, and enjoying life in the place they call home? Just seeing people take a leap towards the loves of their lives, lives of opportunities, lives of adventures, and lives of contentment really inspires you to go after what you desire most in the world as well. Life is too short to not spend it with ones you love, doing what you love, in the places you love. In the brief time we have on this earth, we cannot allow ourselves to waste away by holding back from what we want. So think about the person, the experience, or whatever entity you can’t live without in your lifetime, and consider what steps you can take today to chart your course towards your life’s calling and purpose. Shoot your shot, put your heart on the line, and live with that intention, whether it’s choosing to experience the world with your better half or making the world a better place. Because when you give yourself to what you believe in, it will make you love more, do more, learn more, experience more, and be more of the person you are and the person you want to become. Commit to living the life of your dreams. If this #MondayMotivation message inspires you to pop the question to your one and only or to make the big move to the city of your dreams, I fully expect to receive wedding invitations and international postcards, THANK YOU ❤️ #LadyWritesTheHues

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I joke that I’m the Lonely Girl of #Vancouver (sup, Dan Humphrey?) but the social isolation I too often feel is no joking matter. It’s not for lack of trying to forge new social connections. I go to numerous community events, volunteer for organizations and causes I believe in, participate in interest groups and clubs, go to (and even enjoy) the networking functions most dread, and am always up for happy hour when I am invited. As a result, I meet so many of the truly awesome people of our city. But the sad truth of my experience is, it’s hard to make and keep close connections in Vancouver. Instead of finding the tight knit network of friends I hope to make, most of the great people I meet become friendly acquaintances who I’m lucky to see once, or even twice, in a year. I always thought it was a problem with me being a natural introvert. But as I started pushing myself to open up, to lean more into the outgoing side of my personality, to initiate instead of waiting for opportunities to happen, things still didn’t change. Conversations still faded and died. Plans were made and then cancelled, never to be rescheduled again. Weeks turned into months, and then into years… It’s hard not to take it personally when you lose a promising connection, but you get tired and discouraged from reaching out to just get rejected. As comfortable as I am to go to events and activities alone, I would love even more to have close and committed friends to share the experiences with. It shouldn’t be so hard to find people to go to the theatre with, to go dancing with, to go have a picnic in the park with, or to go have a board games and junk food night in with. But it is. This feeling of social disconnection in such a diverse city is the biggest mindfuck of a conundrum. It shouldn’t be so damn hard to find and build genuine connections with each other. But it is. So how do we crack this social code of disconnect and solve the loneliness issue in Vancouver? (see comment below…)

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UPLIFT. I was in conversation with friends on the topic of human connection when one friend remarked on how people have a tendency to “underestimate their impact” on others. In three words, she summed up the root of the issue of social disconnect and isolation that I’ve been mulling over for the past month. This is something that we all do. I know I am guilty for taking for granted not only the value that my family, my friends, and other significant people add to my life, but I also undervalue what I do and what I can do to enrich their lives as well. In this wild world we’ve living in today, where getting through one day can feel like an uphill battle, experiencing the giving and receiving of genuine gestures of gratitude can make a day when it feels like everything is breaking down. When you know this, a “thank you” and a smile become powerful means of lifting someone’s entire perspective and direction. In your interactions with others, recognize the unique gifts that people have to offer. Make it a regular practice to show and tell your appreciation for what they add to your life and to the world around them. Is it their selfishness? Their creative talents? Their perfect memory for remembering everyone’s birthday? Their ability to always send the perfect gif for every situation? From sending a complimentary tweet, a short yet sweet text message (or a handwritten card. Remember those? Let’s bring them back!) or having a heart-to-heart over quality face-time, initiate those opportunities for personal connection. Every person needs a reminder of the good that they give to this Earth. Every person needs to be aware that their being here makes a difference. Every person needs to know that their presence matters and their existence is meaningful to someone. To be seen is to be elevated, to feel your spirits lifted, and to be raise one’s belief in their worth. Be bold in giving love and kindness daily. Don’t underestimate your impact on people, for you have unlimited potential to uplift someone. #ladywritesthehues #wisdomwednesday #wednesdaywisdom

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We romanticize summer like it’s our one and only chance of the year to be truly alive. The summer months spark a flame within us to be wild and free, to open ourselves up to the possibility of new experiences and adventures and to be who we are and who we want to be. Summertime means freedom. To do more. To explore more. To risk more. To love more. To live more. This couldn’t be more reflective of my #Summer2019. These last three months were full of hellos and goodbyes, highs and lows, dashed hopes and newfound dreams, discoveries and rediscoveries, and getting outside (both in nature and out of the comfort zone). Through it all, this summer taught me so much more about myself, about others, and about the world, helping me get more in tune with the people and places around me. And rather than idealizing and leaving what I learned during this profound and meaningful time in the past, I intend to carry it on towards how I approach life moving forward… As the sun sets on summer and the season changes to fall, the challenge will be to sustain this open-minded perspective and free-spirited attitude as we settle back into our regular schedules and routines. Part of that includes continuing to make room for what brings you fulfillment, such as quality time with friends (and puppies!), yoga and meditation, and tacos, lots of tacos. The other part involves some mindset shifts, such as prioritizing self-care, being present, believing in yourself, having faith in the unknown, and following through on your crazy schemes. Summer is not just a fling, but it’s a way of life that should be carried on each and every day. Apply summer lovin’ and summer livin’ all year long. It’s your SPF against boredom and stagnation and your ticket to a existence worth living for. ☀️ #ladywritesthehues

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Do one thing that scares you every day. I’m not saying you should go sign for skydiving right this instant (though I’m totally down to join you if that’s on your bucket list – hit me up!) But try this experiment: commit to a daily practice of tackling something that’s outside of your comfort zone. Something that you would normally stop yourself from doing due to uncertainty and/or potential judgment. Things like going to that fencing class you’ve always said you wanted to try, emailing that long lost friend you've been wanting to catch up with, or perhaps even scarier than all of the above, telling someone exactly how special they are to you. Each time you conquer a fear, no matter the outcome, is an accomplishment. You are building yourself up to becoming a person who embraces rather than runs from the things that scare you. Soon enough, you will develop the level of confidence to make this a regular practice in your life. I don’t believe in fearlessness. We all have things we are fearful of and it’s essential to have those fears. But instead of hiding behind fear, we should use fear to challenge us to learn, to grow, and to expand our horizons. Feel the fear and do it anyway. #ladywritesthehues

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#BellLetsTalk 💙 Something that affects my mental health is feeling not good enough and not worth the effort to people. I should be kinder to myself. I have great qualities and much to offer. I’m a loyal friend, a talented writer, an adventurous traveller, a shameless shower singer. But even knowing all of that about myself, I still need little reminders when I begin to question it all. I think we all want to know that we matter to someone, to this world. A lot of times, we keep our admiration for the people we dig and care about to ourselves. We don’t want to bother each other, when in actuality, the nice things we left unsaid bothers us even more when we think back and wish we had been been brave enough to say it. And what you had to share could have been the saving grace they needed on a dark day. So go on and make that effort. Give that compliment. Post that comment. Send that text. Make that call. Don’t hesitate to share the nice things you think about people. Your words and your actions mean more and have more of an impact than you think they will. Let’s remind each other of two truths: You are more than good enough. And you are so worth the effort. ❤️ #ladywritesthehues

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